On this episode of A Word Fitly Spoken, Amy and Michelle are covering a topic that’s a little sensitive – pornography – and even though we’re not going to be graphic in any way, this episode might be one you’d rather listen to without the kids around.
Pornography is such a plague on society in general, and, unfortunately, even Christian men and women have been tempted into using it. What can you do if your spouse is addicted to these images, or is having an emotional affair? What if you’re the one who is caught in the snare of sexual immorality?
As always, we’ll be looking first and foremost at what the Bible has to say, since the Bible is our authority as Christians.
Resources:
Scriptures teaching that using pornography is a sin and Scriptures about contentment (be sure to study all of these in context)
Biblical Resources on Pornography Michelle Lesley- Discipleship for Christian Women
Should Christian Couples Watch Pornography Together? Michelle Lesley- Discipleship for Christian Women
Is lust a sin for women, too? Michelle Lesley- Discipleship for Christian Women
Why is it wrong for pornography but ok for game of thrones or harry potter? Why are some Christian ok with those two? They are all bad, I think, for our spiritual growth.
Hi Tim- I think you would need to ask the individual you’re referring to why he thinks pornography is bad but Game of Thrones or Harry Potter is OK. I don’t think Christians should be watching Game of Thrones for the same reason they shouldn’t be using pornography. I’m not aware of any pornography or graphic sex scenes in Harry Potter (I’ve never read the books or watched the movies) but if there are, then Christians shouldn’t be reading/watching it either.
These all fall into the category of ‘thought life SIN that Jesus spoke on, ” IF / WHEN a man(or woman) looks on another with lustful thoughts, they have already committed adultery in THEIR HEARTS.” Proverbs tells us , “The HEART is deceitful above all else.’
Other than praying and studying God’s word, the very best advice you gave was to confide in a very good Christian friend regarding one’s sexual sin.(I would never go to a male pastor about sexual sin.) It is almost impossible to stop the sexual sin of choice until you tell someone about your secret life, to tell them about the lie you’ve been living. They will encourage you, pray with you and help keep you accountable.
That’s a good word, Kathy. Thanks for the feedback!
i think I accidentally deleted my question before I sent that precious comment. I noticed that when you mentioned a young man contacted you regarding his addiction you said, that as a woman, it was inappropriate to counsel him so you had him contact a male who dealt with his particular problem. So why are women urged to talk to their male pastor about their sexual immoralities? I strongly disagree with that advice.
Hi Kathy- I believe you’re referring to Amy’s comments about the man she was in a social media group with who contacted her privately about his porn addiction. I will let Amy speak for herself about that, but I have handled similar situations the same way. Here’s why:
First, we’re talking about a situation with a total stranger who doesn’t live anywhere nearby. Pornography addiction requires one on one, face to face, long term personal discipleship. The appropriate, biblical context for this type of discipleship relationship is in the local church, not via e-mail or social media.
Next, it is nearly always biblically inappropriate for a layperson to develop the type of intimate relationship required for one on one discipleship with someone of the opposite sex, for any issue, but especially for sexual issues. There are just too many opportunities for temptation, for the relationship to be misunderstood by others, etc.
While I would usually encourage a woman to first seek out an older mature sister in the Lord in her church for counsel on this or any other issue, there are situations in which there isn’t an older sister like this in her church, or there isn’t an older sister in her church that she feels comfortable going to.
At that point I would encourage her to go directly to her pastor (or whichever elder handles counseling matters). Her pastor can either set her up with a spiritually mature woman he trusts to counsel her well, he can recommend a certified biblical counselor, or he can counsel her in an appropriate way (which may involve having his wife or another woman present or some other form of protection for both him and the counselee). Sending a woman to her pastor for counseling is different from sending a woman to a random man in her church for counseling. Pastors are trained in counseling and take a professional approach to it. Furthermore, her pastor is responsible for soulcare and for shepherding the members of his flock. He is responsible to God to care for their needs.
Hope this helps clear things up a little.
It does. Thank you for your response.